” You need to make friends with your grief” – I heard said several times, in my first year following the death of my husband, Andy.
I really, really didn’t get it. In fact it made me quite mad. How could I be friends with something that had devastated my life and taken my soul mate away.
But I have intentionally worked hard at processing my grief, understanding it and dare I say it, I am beginning be at peace with it.
Grief, to me , is the expression of extreme loss of someone who you loved deeply. So when I am grieving, I am expressing my love for someone who was a wonderful part of my life. I am grateful I got to be Andy’s wife for the best part of nearly 34 years. I am beginning to accept grief is the price I have to pay for having such a big love. Nothing can change this, because I can’t change the fact that I loved him with all my heart. I still do and always will.
I am realising that grief in itself not a bad thing, it is just the contrast and opposite of something wonderful.
It is what life is made up of, a series of contrasting events and emotions. It is very sad and heartbreaking to have lost him and it is not a choice I ever would have chosen.
But I wear my grief proudly, for it marks my love for a wonderful man and I am beginning to make friends with it………